DIAPER DIFFICULTY

Early in the pregnancy my partner told me she wanted to use cloth diapers. I was immediately skeptical of the idea, not just because I tend to do most of the laundry, but one of the first pieces of advice I received dealt with this issue directly; don't use cloth diapers, the environment will survive, and your life will be easier. This bit of advice was echoed by nearly every other person (parent and non parent) I spoke to during the pregnancy. I can safely say I never met a cloth diaper enthusiast.

Surrounded by this skepticism towards cloth diapers, my partner decided to look into environmentally friendly, chlorine free alternatives. Her favorite in this field is the G Diaper. After early experiments with the G Diaper proved unsuccessful (too much spillage into the liner), we learned they are most effective when the baby is a little older with a more developed digestive system (her poo was too loose). So we turned to our back up, Seventh Generation diapers.

The troubles of the Seventh Generation diapers made the G Diaper's look minuscule. The problems are profound and they range from structure, to the material; combined with their depressing brown color, there was nothing redeeming about them.

My daughter seems normally proportioned, and is in the fat part of the growth chart, but the diapers never seemed to fit properly. They never came across the waist properly, or hugged the legs correctly, which lead to my second problem; leakage. The sole job of a diaper is to keep stuff in, but these have a 50% failure rate. In a rough estimate I would say every other diaper had a substantial leak, which of course means, you are changing your babies clothes more than two or three times a day. Which means, you are doing more laundry, wasting more water, which doesn't seem environmentally responsible.

Seventh Generation also sells wipes, an item inherently destructive since they simply chemical soaked paper towels, which are used very liberally. The Seventh Generation brand are chlorine free which means they are less irritating to the skin of the baby and won't irritate diaper rash. Any while the product itself, the wipes, are 100% effective, the container that contains them, couldn't be less effective.

As more wipes are used, it becomes harder and harder to retrieve the wipes from the bottom. Most wipes have this problem, but these have it bad. I would say, as soon as 1/3 of the wipes are used the problem begins, and by the time there are less than 1/2, your frustration reaches a boiling point. By then I would say I waste between two and three wipes, just to get one. Which, I might add, is also bad for the environment.

After I overcame my initial frustration, I realized that this problem is symptomatic of many of the "environmentally friendly" products on the market. They are typically purchased simply for their small environmental footprint, and not for their effectiveness. So the consumer is left feeling good about using the product, but irritated by their poor design, or overall ineffectiveness. I am typically able to rationalize my way around buying things that make me feel good, but don't work right, but parenthood adds so many variables to the equation, I find myself facing these situations far too often. I am already paying almost 3 dollars for a roll of paper towels, that don't hurt bumble bees, can you please make them work well also.

BABY DISCIPLINE

One Month

My daughter turned one month today. I am blown away by this idea. I don't know what month brings about the biggest changes, but I've noticed in this month that she is much more substantial physically, her neck is stronger and she is able to hold it up much longer than I thought she would. When lying on our chests, she will stretch out her neck and look around for several seconds at a time. I've also noticed a large change in her eyes. Early on her eyes were mostly closed, and when they were open, they were wonky and sometimes crossed. Now they are focused and, while I don't know if her vision has improved, you certainly get the sense that she is looking at you.

My friend's daughter is exactly six months older than my daughter, and seeing the difference is amazing. She is sitting up and playing, beginning to crawl, has a full range of expressions, and two teeth. Seeing the way my daughter has developed in one month, makes me amazed that there are still more special unique developments to come.

Welcome!

Titling this post "Welcome!" feels a little unnecessary since it suggests there is an audience that I am greeting. Nevertheless, I thought it important to have a small introduction to myself and the situation that lead to me beginning this endeavor.

I am 27, and I live in the borough of Queens, with my girlfriend, and two cats, in a one bedroom apartment. About 11 months ago I learned that my girlfriend of three years had become pregnant. While this pregnancy wasn't planned, we certainly could have done more to avoid it if either of us wanted. But our mutual desire to have a family, our confidence in each other as parents, and our willingness to proceed with open minds and hearts, made us more than certain that while things could always be more perfect, the time to give it a go was now.

My daughter was born February 26th at Long Island College Hospital. She weighed a little over 8 pounds, and measures, 19 1/4 inches. Both at the top percentiles for girls, not that I am bragging. I intended to begin documenting my experiences as a young parent shortly after I learned I was going to become a father, but sadly I wasn't able to get my self organized until now, with my daughter turning 3 weeks at 9:41 pm today.

Despite not getting an earlier start the objective remains the same. As the first among my group of friends to become a father, I found myself short on trusted advice on fatherhood. The internet was even less helpful. The signal to noise ration on the issues young parents face is ridiculous; every one has an idea, but sifting through those ideas can be more stressful than the issue its self. So I thought that I might be able to offer my experience, with as much honesty, and sincerity as possible, hoping that it might be helpful to my friends, family, and other young parents, especially fathers who find comfort in knowing they are not alone.

I hope that anyone who reads this understands that the honesty and sincerity will undoubtedly come with frustrations, contradictions, and back peddling which I have learned are qualities all new parents possess.